Wednesday, 16 April 2014

who I am

              Who Am I

                                           I am done resenting my brother’s drug addiction and my father’s inability to deal with the “tough stuff”, his feelings and his guilt about his choices.
I am learning to accept people and situations as they are. What we resist, DOES persist.
I am responsible for how I act/react to others, not their actions/reactions to me.
I am full of mettle, because I have allowed myself to be vulnerable and given people chances to see my heart, and even if they didn’t appreciate that gift, I won’t stop trying to find people who will.
I am worthy of love, and respect.
I am a smiler, and enjoy laughing.
I am working on forgiving myself, my past circumstances that were thrust upon me, and those I helped create.
I am done asking for people’s approval: like me, love me, disregard me – my life and self-worth is not defined by how many friends I have or what anyone thinks of me. That position has been filled by ME, thanks for your interest and input though.
I am a lover of people and know that each is/has had their own battles, and who am I to judge them.
I am learning to accept that love does not equal accepting bad or abusive behavior; you can love the person, not what they do.
I am a person who has made many mistakes, but I am not a mistake.
I am searching for deep connections and conversations.
I am an animal lover.
I am a believer that trust and respect are earned – a nugget at a time.
I am also a believer in actions, not words.
I am a seeker, a questioner, curious about life and people.
I am an eternal optimist.
I am a firm believer that no one should be denied their rights or dignity, because of their race, gender, age, nationality, political leanings, religion or lack there of, or sexual preference.
I am a lover of books and writing/creating them.
I am fun and funny.
I am finally my own best friend.
I am blessed to be a mom, a wife and a friend to some of the most beautiful, genuine souls I have ever known.
I am challenged in ways by life and people that I hope one day I truly can say, “Oh, I get that one now,” without the facepalm.
I am complicated, but worth the effort to get to know.
I am a believer that sometimes the most loving thing we can do is let someone go.
I am grateful for every blessing I have received, even the ones that left me on the floor broken and shattered.
I am ok, and on the verge of truly AMAZING!

I know I am not alone in this journey, there is something bigger than all of us out there: helping, guiding us to the right people, situations and lessons we need to go through.
I know I have feelings, but they are not me, and that they are really there to help me – except for shame and worry – boo, bye-bye now.
I know that love, real, unconditional love, could save the world and human beings.
I know I am no more important than anyone else on this planet, but that I am still important and so is the part that I play.
Those who really know me and my journey, have asked, would I change anything? I can honestly say, no. If I changed one thing, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and I like me, I see me and all my glorious imperfections and my undeniable strength and tenacity to not give up. I love me. ME! And I truly wish, that you all know, you are just as amazing and worthy of love, too!
I am who I am, now who are you?
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